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TOO MUCH HONESTY
Overrated and harmful.
If you were raised as I was, you were taught that 'Honesty is the best policy.'
That there was never a place for lying.
And, I have seen and heard of marriages where one or both partners tried to live their lives by that rule. Without realizing that there is a place for the occasional lie, otherwise known as 'a white lie'. One primarily intended to spare the feelings of another.
I have never known more than 1 person in my life whom I truly believe never lied. And you might say," Terrific! I wish my spouse was like that."
But think of the consequences of always telling the truth. Or, at least pretending that is the case. - This could mean that you would tell a mother that her child is not beautiful, but homely. That you tell the hostess that her meal was barely edible.
In the case of a spouse, one might tell him/ her, outright, that they were a lousy lover. Instead of with kinder words and actions, showing he/ she how to better please you. - It might mean that when they tell you of a promotion that they received, that you explain you felt someone else at the company should have gotten it because they were more qualified. - It could mean, that in the middle of an argument, you tell them that you wished you had never married them, instead of (fill-in-the-blank).
Fact of the matter is that 99% of the population or more, probably has lied at some point in time, if only with a 'white lie'.
We lie to our boss, to keep our job. We lie to our children to protect them. We lie to parents to avoid their wrath or to win their affection. We simply lie, at some point in time. If only to be polite. (There is a great, little song on 'White Lies', which aired recently on the Fox TV show, Lie To Me. -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMaaXq97Rf4 )
The bottom-line is that there is a place for the occasional 'white lie'. Or, for not offering a perfectly truthful response. - Especially with our spouse, there is a time and a place for this. It is when the knowledge would serve to hurt them or your relationship. When there is no positive outcome to be gained for the other person. No lesson to be learned which could not be 'taught' in a better, kinder manner.
In the end, it boils down to that other cliche of doing unto others how you would want them to do unto you.
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