IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious

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Sharing Responsibilities

Share responsibilities
Or, don't complain
If you are kept waiting for them
To have time or energy
For your needs and your desires.

"She never has time for me. You know what I mean? It's always the kids and housework and errands! I didn't get married to be ignored or to hear about her not being in the mood, night after night."

"He is always late coming home from work and errands that he thinks are important. For once, I would love to have him here to eat dinner without it having to be re-warmed and ruined.."

"She thinks that everyone's needs are more important than mine are. Why can't the kids take on some chores around here? And, what's with her long commute time? Is traffic truly that bad?"

It's an age-old problem, although nowadays the gender of the person complaining has changed, in many instances. The problem? It's an imbalance in home responsibilities. And, the frequent result of one spouse feeling  'put upon' and not in the mood for romance.

The first step in resolviong the matter is to determine how imbalanced the situation truly is. Far too often the recipient of the complaints has an inflated sense of their workload. - Likewise, the complainer often overdramatizes the situation.

Next, if there truly is an imbalance, then the workload should be divided among all household members. But, not equally. This is because you need to consider each person's skill level and other commitments.

So that children's chores should be age appropriate. If one spouse puts in a 12 hour workday and an hour commute and their partner has less of a workday or commitments, then their tasks should be different. - But everyone needs to put in their appropriate share! Or, else stop complaining.

And, I have heard so many times that there is no way for one or the other spouse to increase their responsibilities. But if they don't, then the situation will only worsen. And, some of the possible consequences include affairs or a total shutting-out of the other.

Bottom-line, each of you needs to review the situation and to make some compromises. For your sake. The childrens'. And, the marriage's.

'Nuff said!

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