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Who do not respect
Possibly do not deserve
Most of us were raised with the belief that we should honor, respect, and, typically, obey our parents. - Certainly, we should heed their sage advice more often than we ignore it.
So, what does that mean in terms of their opinion of and treatment of our husband or wife?
If they like or even adore he or she, then we believe that we are all set. That all is well with our little matrimonial world!
But, is that true? - What happens when they decide that your spouse is wrong, whether in judgement or action? Do you automatically assume that your folks are correct? Since they typically see your lovers' great qualities, then it seems to follow that they would be correct in assessing any negative ones.
But, hold on! The fact that someone is often correct or agrees with you, does not an infallible person make! - So, don't jump too quickly to assume that your mom or dad is seeing a more accurate picture of your spouse, than you are. - Could be or not. You need to be the one to make the final decision. You need to check things out!
Okay. And, what of the parents who can't seem to get enough of putting your wife or husband down? Insulting them? Criticizing them? - Especially when you know that your spouse does not deserve this treatment? That you're your folks are simply being direspectful in-laws?
Well, this is a time for you to show the world... Or, at least your folks... That you are all 'growed-up', now.
You need to stand by your man or woman. - And, that means that you should not only defend them in fromt of your parents, but you should call or see them, alone, after. And, let them know that they are entitled to their opinion of your partner-in-life. But, that you expect them to treat she or he, with respect. And, that if they do not, then you will either visit them, without your spouse, or not at all.
Now, what if they are correct about your spouse? And, you know that!
Then, you owe it to your folks to let them know that you also see the faults or issues with your partner. But that you believe these are far outweighed by their good points.
And, if you don't see more good than bad, then thank your folks. And try to work on your marriage. If that's been tried, with sincere efforts, and still not worked out well, then, perhaps, this is one of those times when a divorce is appropriate.
The lesson, here? - Simply don't allow your parents to be bullies or to come between you and your spouse. And, if they do, in fact, see things that you have chosen to ignore, then, thank them, and try to work harder on your marriage.
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