IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious
How Is Nagging Working For You?
what do you mean by that wisecrack?", I can almost hear someone
Some spouses are 'serial naggers'. These are the ones who can find something to nag about, given enough time. (If they're good at their 'craft', it might only take them minutes to come up with some annoyance to address.) - Still others are truly not aware of doing it.
Most, naggers will express denial when first approached. The 'pros' will stick with their denial, as if it was a pair of tight-fitting jeans which made them appear sexy.
Now,in an attempt to be logical, I, again, ask, "How is nagging working for you?".
I ask this because it is so important for the nagger to know. And, it is a point that is seldom evaluated.
My next question for the nagger is: "How long have you complained about the same thing?" - Because if your spouse has not changed the behavior, there is one of several things taking place. - 1st, they might be thumbing their nose at you. Purposely wanting to tick you off. And, they allow the nagging to go through one ear and out of the other one. - 2nd, they could be absent-minded or otherwise oblivious, at any given moment. - 3rd, your spouse might do it just to annoy you, seeing as how you still do those things which drive he/ she crazy, despite their nagging you! - 4th, they just don't agree with your position. (If there is an equal number of men and women in a house, what says that the seat should always be down to accommodate her, and not him?) - 5th, your desire could seem illogical or not a high priority. (Unless you have others coming to spend time in your bedroom and it's door is kept open, why bother making a bed that will become messy within seconds of climbing in at night?)
Back to "How long have you complained about the same thing?". - If it has been over a month, you should realize that their behavior is not likely to change. Unless, perhaps, you chose one of the reasons above, which has an allowance for your partner to desire changing their ways.
The other thing to consider is how much physical and emotional energy you want to waste on this. - You need to decide whether or not raising your blood pressure, annoying them, and probably guaranteeing the two of you having a lousy night without relations is worth it. Truly worth it.
There is a saying that equates doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results, with 'insanity'. And, while I would not go that far, I certainly question the point of repetitious complaining.
Of course, there is also the little matter of acknowledging that you probably do things which annoy he/ she! And, if you back off, for a while, they will probably follow your lead. (But don't expect a change to happen,overnight.)
Bottom line? Nagging is counterproductive! So stop it. (And, go shut off that light, yourself. Same, with making the bed. And... )
Please ask your local bookstore to carry