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FROM FREQUENCY TO PERFECTION
When sexual relations
Only occur, sporadically,
They are likely to be
Frenzied, fumbling, or
As with anything else,
'Frequency' leads to 'Perfection'.
"I finally said 'Yes' to Ben, last night. And, so what happened? I'll tell you! He fumbled with my clothes like he was an adolescent on his first time. His hands and lips were rushed. I felt as if he never knew what turned me on. By the time we were finished, I so badly wanted to ask what his problem was, but decided that I was right in not giving in when I was tired. But, he should be set now for another 2 months, at least!"
"Well, last night, I thought I hit the jackpot. She actually made the 1st move. And, it was the 1st move in months! But, after 2 minutes of foreplay, I was done. Not that I wanted to be. But it's been so long and she was so passionate. Maybe if she had slowed down things might have been better. As it was, she wasn't satisfied. She didn't even bother to try to arouse me, again.
I felt cheated. And, imagine... No snuggling! Guess that will be the last time for it until, who knows when... "
Boy! I wager that these sound familiar to some of you.
There used to be a time when you were in sync with one another's needs, desires, turn-ons... You instinctively knew when to be soft, passionate, or... You both found ways to be pleasured. And to feel that very special sexual connection which spouses treasure. At least at the beginning of their relationship.
Of course, there are work pressures, schedules, time limitations, and moods which interfere with the frequency of sexual intimacy. That's to be expected. - However, there is no excuse for allowing these things to deprive you of the incredible rush and closeness that sex can bring to you and your partner.
Look. We manage to find the energy for those other responsibilities. So, why not for this?
And, if we do not, then of course there will be a period of re-learning, re-adjustment. Along with the pressure to 'perform', all in the hopes of pleasing, being pleasured, and, perhaps having an increase in the frequency of this intimacy.
Finally, keep in mind that 2 people often do not share the same level of sexual drive. Which makes it vital for each spouse to be considerate of the others' needs and to find that balance.
Because like it or not, you are not entitled to be selfish, on either end of the spectrum!
You were blessed with the capacity to experience sexual pleasures. Enjoy that right. And, share it with your loved one. Often. You both deserve it!
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