IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious

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Provide meaningful incentives
For them to change
Their behavior or attitude.

What would it take for you to stop twirling your hair, or biting your nails, or screaming less at the kids, or being on time?
Would you do it for a piece of your favorite dessert? For some quiet time, watching a ballgame? For the opportunity to do some 'splurge shopping'? For respect? For money?

At one time or another, we all want our spouse to start or stop doing something. Whether it's an action that annoys or upsets us. Or, an attitude that we puts us off, hurts us, or gets us angry. Or...
But how often do we broach the topic with them in a demeaning, angry, or commanding manner? And, would that work on us, if they approached us that way? Probably not!

Some of you might say, "But I do ask nicely. I just have to do it over, and over, and over... And, still little or poor results!" - Others might say, "I offered to rub her feet if she did." - Still others, "I told him that I would make his favorite dessert!"

What we miss is the fact that most of us want to receive something  in return for changing behavior or attitude. And, we want it to be meaningful to us! - The fact that one enjoys a good cheesecake does not mean that they would be willing to make a major change for a one time or even occasional piece of the delectable delight. Now, if they were offered the opportunity to go bowling every week without being nagged, well 'maybe' they would change. Or, perhaps they would love nothing more than to get a backrub, every week.
The point is, that in most instances, we all have something that we would be willing to make changes for. - Know your spouse. - Then, offer only the 'rewards' that they would find to be sufficiently movitating. Otherwise, you waste both of your time, and, additionally, you won't get what you seek.



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Don't Overlook The Obvious
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